Thursday, January 29, 2009

Fodder for My Kids' Future Psychiatrists

Apparently the purpose of blogs is to tell stories about your children and not worry about the future counseling bills such disclosures will have on said little tykes. To wit:

For a period of time this past fall, Gavin immediately brought a stop to all singing (without regard to singer, genre or quality of performance) with one exception. I was allowed to sing the Heat Miser/Snow Miser song from the Year Without a Santa Claus. All I can say is the kid has taste. Or at least had taste. Since Rochelle began her blog, we've spent some time on Playlist.com, which has exposed our children to a broad array of music (meaning lots of hair bands from the 80's). I recently caught Gavin singing, "Bawitdaba" by Kid Rock. He also enjoys rocking out to "Jump Around" by House of Pain and "Walk This Way" (The Run DMC/Aerosmith version). I blame Rochelle, totally.

Benjamin might freak out for me telling on him, but I'm going to do it anyway -- maybe he'll be a little less sappy if he worries about stories like these getting out:

Benjamin likes a certain girl at church (and school), who for the sake of anonymity shall be referred to as "Bertha." This year our church schedule has mutual on Wednesday nights. Benjamin has gone to judo practice on Monday and Wednesday evenings for the past 2.5 years. (Don't worry, we do FHE on Sundays because we want to keep our salvation intact.) So, this week I asked Benjamin if he wanted to go to scouts or judo on Wednesdays (like he really gets a choice -- I serve in Young Men's). He told me without hesitation that he wanted to go to scouts. I asked if he would still want to go to scouts if they were working on merit badges. He said yes. I asked, "What if you're working on the really boring merit badges... like citizenship in the community or personal finance?" He said he still wanted to go to scouts. I asked why, and he smiled real big and said, "Because Bertha will be there in opening exercises."

Another quick one on Benjamin: We were having cornbread with dinner recently. After applying a generous amount of honey, Benjamin said, "This honey is almost as sweet as Bertha." He then sighed dramatically.

What a sap!

Stories about our girls shall be forthcoming.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

5 Reasons Why Reading this Blog Might Just Be the Smartest Thing You Did Today

1. This blog contains zero grams of saturated fat, no MSG and hardly any anabolic steroids.

2. When your mom asks if you would read this blog if Jesus knew you were reading it, you can answer, "Yes" with a clear conscience... at least until I post my playlist.

3. 4 out of 5 dentist recommend chewing Trident sugar free gum while reading this blog -- bet you didn't know that. Now you do.

4. This blog is not associated with any illegal ponzi investment or pyramid schemes.

5. This blog holds all of the mysteries of the universe, and for five dollars I'll give them all to you. Please pass this message along to two of your closest friends.